When friends leave New York City

Saturday, September 05, 2015

It's been awhile since I posted.  There was a lot of re-evaluation going on my life but that usually happens when you're in your 30s and you feel like you're being left behind while you watch others move on either through having children, getting promoted, or moving away.

The first shock was getting over May-Mei leaving New York.  I didn't discuss much detail with her but she knew after 10 years in the city that it was time to leave.  Freelancing was no longer conducive to sustaining a lifestyle in New York City and she was ready to establish some stability so moving back home to DC was the most obvious option for her.

I didn't know how to talk to her that I was dreading her departure.  I experienced loneliness before when I lived in San Francisco and how hard it is to make friends and to start all over again and try to find people to connect with in your 30s, just left me drained.

As you get older, at least from my perspective, I don't tolerate certain things anymore.  You might say that it is narrow-minded and selfish but do you want to establish a friendship with someone who disregards your feelings, lacks empathy, and makes you feel horrible?

They don't have friendship apps or websites like they do for dating.  At least I haven't heard of them because I'm not trendy.

Overall, I seek friendships from people who I can learn from, who is open-minded and possesses a great sense of humor.  My friendship with May - Mei encompassed all of that.  She listened to my insecurities, checked up on me after I lost my dad and tolerated my dessert fetish.

She was one of the first people I met when I first moved to the city and during these 8 years, it was great to share so many memories with her.

During this time, we made a bucket list and it revolved around us eating at the best pizza places in New York City. We traveled to Di Fara in Midwood, Brooklyn. Lee's Tavern in Staten Island and Nick's Pizza, Forest Hills in Queens to name a few.

The months sped by quickly so we embarked on day trips to Kykuit: The Rockefeller Estate and to Boston and The Breakers in Rhode Island.

Now, we have scheduled weekly Google hangout calls and I'm able to learn a lot about Nebraska. Despite, the distance, technology is a great way to make us feel connected and even though DC is a 5 hr bus ride away, I'm sure we'll embark on more adventures.

Next stop.... Montreal

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